I don’t want to be Asian today, with all the baggage and associated stigmas and stereotypes that go along with it. I don’t need the pressure to belong to a group that never wanted me even if membership was bestowed arbitrarily based on the interpretations of people I don’t know or respect simply by their assessment based on nothing more than a personal opinion of what an Asian should look like. I don’t feel like being used as a political bargaining chip that gets traded in exchange for favors that never seem to address the concerns that I might have about the conditions of people I actually care about. I don’t want to see appeals by famous Asians asking me to support solidarity to combat the bigotry and violence being perpetrated against Asians in this time of Covid when non-Asians have no concept that they have been used as pawns in political schemes. Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel up to taking on a label that wasn’t of my making, that imparts a false feeling of cohesiveness on an incredibly disparate collection of cultures, some of which have been violent enemies in the past. Not today.